Memories versus change

25 Sep

Sometimes you have to make decisions in life. Your head tells you it’s the right one, but oh, if only things were that simple.

I’ve been living in my apartment for 8 years now. Before I moved here, I lived with my dad, after my mum died 3 years earlier. So it was a hard for me to leave him. How would he cope on his own? But it had to be done. So in December, the apartment was ready for me to move in and I went. My dad helped me out wherever he could. He bought me my curtains, helped paint the place and went shopping with me.

A month after I moved in, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, just like my mum. So instead of organising a housewarming, I was going to the hospital with my dad for endless tests and treatments. He died a year later.

Till this day, my apartment still holds memories of that period. I still have the same curtains, the paint is still here, the memories are still here. Good and bad. But I now feel that it’s holding me back. I need to move on.

So I decided to go look for a place in another city, near work. A friend of mine, who lives in another city, has her place up for sale and she offered it to me, to stay there until I found something near work. So it looks like I’ll be moving soon.

I know that I have to move on, start over fresh. New city, new house, new furniture, new life. And I know that my memories will still be with me, wherever I go. First of all, I don’t like change. I’m just not very good at it. So this would be huge for me anyway. But the thought of leaving this place, knowing that this is the only house that I’ll ever live in where my dad has been, is a painful one.

But I’ll be ok, wherever I go. I might be leaving the curtains behind, but the memories will still be with me.

So, anyone willing to help me paint?

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