Tag Archives: happy


22 Oct

Tuesday morning, 6am. A new day has begun and before getting ready for work, I feel like writing this.

A few weeks ago I had the courage to walk into the Crossfit box for the very first time. And now, I can’t imagine not going. I can only manage twice a week, but I’m building up to three times now. First thing I do in the morning is check what the WOD is. When I walk into the box, I pretty much look like Bambi, caught in headlights. Scared! Can I do this? But once I get going, I’m off. And I feel so strong and powerful. I do the scaled version of just about everything, but that doesn’t matter. Because I’m giving it my all, the full 100%. And it feels awesome to do that.

I hated P.E. in school. I was always the slow kid, the last one to finish, the one that couldn’t climb the rope etc. The kid that never got picked on the team. I’m still the slow one, the last one to finish, the one that can’t climb a rope. But it’s different now. Because I’m working hard for it, both mentally and physically.

The coaches are great, they motivate me and respect me. The same goes for my fellow CF-ers. And that makes all the difference. Every WOD I find myself doing things I couldn’t imagine I’d be doing. For 1 hour I’m focused on me. The rest of the world doesn’t exist. And when I finish and I high five everyone, I don’t feel like that kid in gym, or the fat person in the gym. I feel awesome. I feel respected and I feel strong. Because I did this! And I’ll get better, stronger, faster along the way.

My ultimate goal: to climb that rope all the way to the top. Yes, the slow kid will do it. Even if it takes me a year or two.

What a great way to start my day.

Sunday thoughts

6 Oct

2 days after my first crossfit workout I went on holiday. 10 glorious, lazy days in Cyprus. Good thing I hadn’t planned anything active, because I sure felt my body! And yes, I was very thankful to find out that my apartment there had a bath. Soak and relax those muscles.

For the first time ever I kept my ‘mode’ going during my holiday. I did some walking, swimming, push ups, squats, sit ups. Not too crazy, but enough to stay active and focussed. I cooked my own meals and have to say, I did very well. Finding fresh veggies was a bit of a challenge, it took me 4 days to find lettuce. I think I’m the first person on this planet to be excited to buy lettuce!

So, a week ago I came home after a week of lazy days by the pool, reading books and thinking about life. And I came to one conclusion: I’m doing pretty well for myself. I’m learning to realise that this is the one life that I get and that it’s up to me what I do with it. The same thing goes for my body. It’s the one place that will always be a true home to me, so I’d better take good care of it and make it as healthy and strong as possible.

Last Wednesday I signed up for another crossfit class. It was 8pm, I was tired and just wanted to go home. But I went. For a second I felt bad about having to ask for a lower box to step on, when doing box jumps. The fat one can’t do it. It was school all over again. But I shook it off. I’m here to improve myself and this is just my starting point. I do have to remind myself of that.

The coach who was there the first time, was here again now. He was glad to see mee again. He gave me lots of great pointers and motivation. Another coach was great to me as I was doing my ring rows. Others can do pull ups, or band assisted pull ups. I’m not there yet, so what. It will come. I will work for it.

I’m going back again this week, and I’m still scared to go “can I do this?” but excited as well. So I’m going to keep going back, to improve myself.

I’m feeling strong. Both physically and mentally. If I can bring myself to do this and overcome these barriers, there’s nothing I can’t do.

And that is a wonderful thing to realise on this Sunday evening. Bring on a new week!

Back on the wagon!

1 Sep

Writing my somewhat depressing note from yesterday really helped me to get me back on track healthwise.

I had a couple of bad days, but decided that I can’t let that discourage me and that I can’t let it be an excuse to mess up completely.

So, today I ate my normal, healthy food. I drank my 2 liters of water. I did a workout of 5 rounds of 10 squats, 10 sit-ups and 10 on knee push ups. I could hardly bring myself to doing it, but I felt great afterwards. So I broke through that wall again and I am back in workout mode.

I have a nice collection of motivational quotes by now, so I decided to make a collage of the ones that speak to me the most. I’m going to print it out and put it in a frame as a reminder.


I’m feeling more energetic right away, now that I’ve set the record straight and I’m making the right choices again.

I can’t change the situation at work right now, but things should get better soon. The only thing I can change is me. How I take care of myself, how I stick to my goals and how I handle it when I slip up.

Because I will slip up again, no doubt about that. I’m human afterall. Slipping up is not the main issue, how to go from there is. And I proved to myself that I can pick myself up again and go on. That gives me so much confidence for the rest of this journey.

So, I’m a wreck no more. Yay me!


Saturday ramblings

24 Aug

And another week went by, whooooosh! I’ve done pretty well, but haven’t been able to workout as much as I had planned.
But I did my fair share, so I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I have another circuit training planned for today, so I will make up for it by doing push ups, squats, dumbell rows etc. etc. I love those exercises. They make me feel strong and powerful eventho well… I’m not hehe.


I weighed in again today and lost 6 kg in total now. So that’s 5% less than my starting weight and what sounds even better: 12% of the total amount I want to lose. So I’m doing a happy dance now! Especially since I’m not depriving myself of anything. I’m never hungry, I don’t have cravings, I just make the right choices. And the loss of those kilos is not even my main goal. It’s more of a tool to measure my progress. My goal: become healthy and strong.

Work has been extremely busy and I’ve been really tired. I have 2 weeks off in September and I am so counting down the days. After my time off I will have to deal with reorganisation stress at work, so I decided to be kind to myself and I booked a 10 day holiday to Cyprus. Second time this year I’m going there. I just love Cyprus. In 4 weeks time I’ll be enjoying the sun by the pool, holding a cold drink. Can you tell I’m excited? Good thing is I will have a mini-fridge in my room there, so I can buy stuff at the supermarkt and continue to eat healthy. With a cheatmeal every now and then. I don’t want to come back and have to start all over again.


So, that’s my recap of this week. I’m feeling good. Just had my yummy scrambled eggs with a bit of salsa mixed into it, sliced tomato and avocado and a steaming cup of black coffee. Time to get ready for the day. I’m going out to buy my 2 jars and marbles to keep track of my weightloss as I wrote about in a previous blog.

Happy weekend everyone!

Feeling good!

10 Aug

Whoohoo, weighed in today and I’m down 5 kg! (In total, not in one week of course). Only 45 to go haha.

Work has been very stressful this week and normally I would turn to food for comfort. To my own surprise I haven’t had that urge once this week. Ok, when I was going to the supermarket after work, and I was hungry, the chocolate looked verrrrry good. But no problem leaving it where it was. Last Thursday I had a horrible day at work, I was tired and just wanted to go home. But I had my gymbag at work, because that morning I decided to go after work.

So, to go or not to go? I went. I literally dragged myself there. But boy, did I feel good about myself for going. Is this the so called turn-around point people talk about? I’m feeling really good about myself, I feel healthier and I enjoy making good choices over unhealthy choices. That means more to me than the number on the scale.

On to the next week!

Feeling good

Spring in the city

25 Feb

Wow, has it really been that long since I last wrote. My last post was made the day before I moved to my new home.

And here I am, in the house that now really feels like I belong here. I’ve grown to really like this city already, although I still haven’t seen half of it.

I’m happy here, I’m at peace. And that feels fantastic. Spring is in the air, radio is playing, coffee in my hand. My cat is happier than ever. The streets in my city are now filled with sunshine, people are out and about, the park is only 5 minutes from my house.

So I made the right decision coming here. It also changed other things in my life. I managed to lose 11 kilos since January, I go to the gym and I´m looking for a new job. I hate change, but once I get going I´m unstoppable!

Of course I still carry my demons with me. They´ll always be there. But I´m dealing with them now and that´s what life is all about.

You know what they say. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it´s about learning how to dance in the rain.

And I´m learning.

Heaven in a cup

24 Sep

I know that it’s hard to believe for many people, especially from the US, but here in the Netherlands a Starbucks is hard to find.

3 train stations in the country have a Starbucks and you can grab a latte at Amsterdam Airport, but that’s it.

Until now that is!

Earlier this year it was announced that Starbucks is opening a few stores in Amsterdam. Yippie! And that’s not all. No, it gets better. There was going to be a Starbucks 5 minutes from work. The opening had been delayed many times and everyone was starting to wonder if it was ever going to happen.

But, slowly but surely, it was becoming evident that there was indeed going to be a Starbucks. The lettering on the outside, and a board outside, counting the days until the grand opening.

And last Wednesday, finally, Starbucks opened. And heaven opened and angels sang! Okay, maybe not that dramatic.

Last Friday my colleague and I went to check it out. Nice weather, so a perfect walk during our lunchbreak. They turned it into a lovely place but why did everyone have to be there at that exact same time?

We placed our orders: a tall crème brulee macchiato. Yes, you read it right: a crème brulee macchiato. I was heaving a pretty bad day at work. But that delicious, perfectly sweetened coffee drink just made my day. It was like having your dessert and your coffee at the same time. Heaven in a cup indeed! Oh, don’t you just love how simple life can be at times?

creme brulee macchiato

Easy like Sunday morning

6 Mar

Easy like Sunday morning, aaaaahhh ahhhh ahh aaahhhhhhh. Ok, I’ll stop singing. It is now 10.30am, Sunday morning. The sun is shining, I have my coffee and I’m feeling good!

Amazing how a bit of sunshine can influence your mood. My friend and I might be meeting up today and go to the beach for a walk. She’s the same friend/colleague who let me down last week. We’ve only been texting since then and I did let her know that I was very disappointed that I didn’t hear from her, even though she promised me to call.

We’re good now, but I do hope our meet up of today will happen, so I can talk to her face to face. She wants to be treated as a grown up, so she has to learn to act like one and also take criticism when it’s given to her. She’s 11 years younger than me and she sees me as her big sis, so might as well act like one then!

I’ve had a very relaxing weekend so far. Boring but lovely. I started watching House again from the beginning and am now halfway season 2. Love it. Love it. Love it.

I’m also very busy planning my holiday. Going for a 3 week trip to the US with a friend. On May 25th we fly to Las Vegas, from there we fly to Los Angeles, there we drive up to San Francisco, taking the coastal route and from there we fly to New York. Planning this trip is like a military operation, but so much fun. It’s going to be the trip of a life time. My friend and I both celebrate our birthdays during that trip (hers will be in Vegas, mine in LA) so that’s some way to spend your birthday.

Now I have to think about what to do on my birthday. Hmmm any thoughts?

Right, time for coffee round 2. Life is good!

Saturday bliss

9 Oct

Have you ever had one of those days where you just sit down in the morning and think: wow, life is pretty good. For no particular reason at all. I just had one of those moments.

I’m sitting here, drinking my morning coffee. The sky is blue and the sun is shining. One of those beautiful after-summer days. I hate autumn and winter. Of course I like the pretty colours and everything, but since I suffer from SAD aka Seasonal Affective Disorder aka Winterdepression, it usually means that rough times are ahead. Especially November, December and January.

But with my faithful Bright Light I’ve managed to battle the symptoms pretty good for the past years.


So when it’s days like this, I enjoy them even more. Is my life perfect? Nope! Do I have issues? Yep! Do I have stuff to worry about? Big time! But by appreciating the small things, life just becomes so much nicer and less stressful. My happy moments for today so far? My cat waking me up with a purr this morning. A lovely cup of coffee. Browsing for a new handbag (haven’t found it yet, that will really make me happy). Organising my make-up (oh how I love Mac and Bobbi Brown make up). Reading a book. Looking at the nice weather outside. Watching the latest episodes of Glee and Dexter. Getting on the scale and seeing I’ve lost 3 kilos, yes! Planning tomorrow’s mini-cruise to Newcastle (can’t wait!)

Happy Moments

And it’s only 10.30 am! Woop woop! This feeling will probably be gone this afternoon, when I’m moaning about having to clean my flat and having to venture into the supermarket on a Saturday but hey, I’ll just enjoy it while it lasts.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Who knew!….

15 Sep

that today would actually be a good day after the disaster called “yesterday”.

I woke up this morning, realising my cold is nearly gone, yay! When I left home this morning, the sun was shining, shock! Arrived at work on time and I would love to say that even the cappuccino tasted better, but that would be a lie. Can’t have it all, right?

Right before lunchtime a guy came in, who does chair massages. Our management arranged that, sweet! Who wants a 15 minute massage? Meeeee! So before my lunchbreak I had a relaxing massage, then went outside with my colleague and did some shopping. Sigh, so far so good.

Did it get better? Yes, it did! Some of us participated in a raffle and as a thank you, we got vouchers: a 3 day mini-cruise to England, Newcastle to be exact, second person gets to go for free. I say: good deal! I was talking to a colleague about this and we decided to go together. Mind you, I’ve only known her for 2 months but hey, she likes fun, I like fun, so that should be good. Fun times ahead!

And yet, the day got better. My colleague called her mother, who just had her grandmother over for tea. So they talked about our plans and it turns out her grandmother won a prize in a puzzle competition. Her prize? A 3 day mini-cruise to Newcastle! But it’s only valid if used before December and they happen to be in Spain then. Hmmm what to do with the cruise then?

So guess who’s now going on a FREE mini-cruise to Newcastle, including one dinner and a sea-side cabin? *looks around*. Oh, that would be me then!

You can imagine the excitement. We kind of forgot that we were at work to do just that… work. Oh well, we’ll be productive again tomorrow.

I left work on time, had a fun ride home with my colleague (he’s the one that I nearly had to rescue last night). I didn’t have to cook because I had left over pasta, I did some cleaning, some laundry and right now I’m watching football: Real Madrid – Ajax (go Ajax!). Glass of wine next to me.

Sigh, life is good. I may not have a really nice car, a huge house, a large sum in my bank account or a wardrobe full of designer wear, but it’s not about those things. My cat is sleeping on the sofa. I moved to the dinnertable so she can sleep there. Her paws are twitching in her sleep, so cute. In other words, it’s not the big things that make life worth living. That’s easy. To appreciate the smaller things, or things that just happen to come your way, that’s the real deal.

So overall, this has been a good day and I’m grateful for that. What will tomorrow bring? Who knows!
For now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my evening.

Now if only Ajax can manage to not lose this game….

EDIT: Ajax lost. 2-0. Sob.