Tag Archives: inspiration

No more sidelines

11 Aug

This morning, I was talking to my friend. We’ve been friends for 10 years now and physically she’s the opposite of me. She’s in excellent shape, does Crossfit 3x a week, does running and she’s always full of energy. A few months ago I was talking to her about my continuing struggle with my weight and health. I’d been going to the gym 3x a week and was amazed by the progress I made. When I started out on the elliptical I died after 10 minutes. Then I managed to do 5km or 45 minutes non-stop.

I was talking to her about how I envy people who just go for a run outside and run 5km. I want to be able to do that. But can I? So I started taking up running and to my surprise, I can run. And my body is ok with it, no pain in my knees or ankles what so ever. I’m not going fast, I’m not going far, but I’m going. My friend offered to train with me. So as of September 2nd, she’s going to be my running coach. Our main goal is to have fun, but also to get me where I want to be. She warned me, she will push me. And that’s what I need: someone to push me. To tell me to keep going when I want to stop.

For as long as I can remember, I haven’t been able to push myself physically. In any other aspect of my life, no problem. I’m up for a challenge. But when it comes to my health and exercise, I just haven’t been able to do it. I’ve always been scared to fail. Or that others would think: look at fatty trying to make an effort. How adorable. And funny.

So, I’ve been watching from the sidelines on so many occasions. We had a teambuilding thing with work: indoor beachvolleyball. Sorry, can’t play, I hurt my back. Just an excuse. We went on a 3 day trip to Austria with a bunch of colleagues a few years ago. Everyone went skiing, but me. I hurt my ankle a while ago and don’t want to risk it. Again, just an excuse. And that’s just a few examples that come to mind.

I’m done with not being part of things. And how do I accomplish that? By being healthy, by eating well, by working out and by building my confidence. That is more important to me than any number on a scale. That is not my main goal anymore.

I’m grateful for my friend who wants to be on this journey with me and who wants to invest her time and energy in me. I feel blessed. Our goal is to run the Color Run next year. And I am sure that I’ll be able to do it.

friends

I’ve been hearing her go on and on about Crossfit and I’ve been doing a lot of research myself. And I decided that I want to be able to do that. To challenge myself and amaze myself. Be strong, be confident. Because I know that person is inside me and it’s time to let her out. First step, I’m going to go to the Box with her, to just watch and see with my own eyes what goes on over there. It’s right next to where I work, so no excuses there.

I don’t want to rush into it, because I have to deal with some mental obstacles of my own first. So I’ll start when it feels right for me. And I know that moment will come.
crossfit

There’s a documentary series on YouTube “Killing the Fat Man”. Man is overweight and unhealthy and decides to start doing crossfit. His story is incredibly inspirational.

I’m back at the gym tomorrow morning, 7am. Every day is one more step away from the sidelines.

fail