Tag Archives: positive

Back on the wagon!

1 Sep

Writing my somewhat depressing note from yesterday really helped me to get me back on track healthwise.

I had a couple of bad days, but decided that I can’t let that discourage me and that I can’t let it be an excuse to mess up completely.

So, today I ate my normal, healthy food. I drank my 2 liters of water. I did a workout of 5 rounds of 10 squats, 10 sit-ups and 10 on knee push ups. I could hardly bring myself to doing it, but I felt great afterwards. So I broke through that wall again and I am back in workout mode.

I have a nice collection of motivational quotes by now, so I decided to make a collage of the ones that speak to me the most. I’m going to print it out and put it in a frame as a reminder.

collage

I’m feeling more energetic right away, now that I’ve set the record straight and I’m making the right choices again.

I can’t change the situation at work right now, but things should get better soon. The only thing I can change is me. How I take care of myself, how I stick to my goals and how I handle it when I slip up.

Because I will slip up again, no doubt about that. I’m human afterall. Slipping up is not the main issue, how to go from there is. And I proved to myself that I can pick myself up again and go on. That gives me so much confidence for the rest of this journey.

So, I’m a wreck no more. Yay me!

gettingup

No more sidelines

11 Aug

This morning, I was talking to my friend. We’ve been friends for 10 years now and physically she’s the opposite of me. She’s in excellent shape, does Crossfit 3x a week, does running and she’s always full of energy. A few months ago I was talking to her about my continuing struggle with my weight and health. I’d been going to the gym 3x a week and was amazed by the progress I made. When I started out on the elliptical I died after 10 minutes. Then I managed to do 5km or 45 minutes non-stop.

I was talking to her about how I envy people who just go for a run outside and run 5km. I want to be able to do that. But can I? So I started taking up running and to my surprise, I can run. And my body is ok with it, no pain in my knees or ankles what so ever. I’m not going fast, I’m not going far, but I’m going. My friend offered to train with me. So as of September 2nd, she’s going to be my running coach. Our main goal is to have fun, but also to get me where I want to be. She warned me, she will push me. And that’s what I need: someone to push me. To tell me to keep going when I want to stop.

For as long as I can remember, I haven’t been able to push myself physically. In any other aspect of my life, no problem. I’m up for a challenge. But when it comes to my health and exercise, I just haven’t been able to do it. I’ve always been scared to fail. Or that others would think: look at fatty trying to make an effort. How adorable. And funny.

So, I’ve been watching from the sidelines on so many occasions. We had a teambuilding thing with work: indoor beachvolleyball. Sorry, can’t play, I hurt my back. Just an excuse. We went on a 3 day trip to Austria with a bunch of colleagues a few years ago. Everyone went skiing, but me. I hurt my ankle a while ago and don’t want to risk it. Again, just an excuse. And that’s just a few examples that come to mind.

I’m done with not being part of things. And how do I accomplish that? By being healthy, by eating well, by working out and by building my confidence. That is more important to me than any number on a scale. That is not my main goal anymore.

I’m grateful for my friend who wants to be on this journey with me and who wants to invest her time and energy in me. I feel blessed. Our goal is to run the Color Run next year. And I am sure that I’ll be able to do it.

friends

I’ve been hearing her go on and on about Crossfit and I’ve been doing a lot of research myself. And I decided that I want to be able to do that. To challenge myself and amaze myself. Be strong, be confident. Because I know that person is inside me and it’s time to let her out. First step, I’m going to go to the Box with her, to just watch and see with my own eyes what goes on over there. It’s right next to where I work, so no excuses there.

I don’t want to rush into it, because I have to deal with some mental obstacles of my own first. So I’ll start when it feels right for me. And I know that moment will come.
crossfit

There’s a documentary series on YouTube “Killing the Fat Man”. Man is overweight and unhealthy and decides to start doing crossfit. His story is incredibly inspirational.

I’m back at the gym tomorrow morning, 7am. Every day is one more step away from the sidelines.

fail

A lesson learned. Again.

2 Mar

Sometimes people can surprise you. Both positive and negative. Today was one of those days.

Today was the funeral of one of my ex-colleague’s mother. Her mother died of cancer, my mum died of cancer 10 years ago. So we talked about it a lot and I went to the funeral, along with a few other colleagues. Beautiful service and I was doing ok until she had to say her final goodbyes and just broke. I felt so horrible for her because I knew what she was feeling right there and then. I remember all too well. Got to do the same thing 4 years later when my dad died, so yes, I know all too well.

After the funeral, I went back to work. Didn’t do much, but it was nice to be busy. I’ve been thinking about my mum a lot. A week from Saturday it will be 10 years since she died. Unbelievable that it’s been so long and yet, it feels like it was only last year. So you can imagine, that after today, I wasn’t feeling all that great.

I was supposed to go out for a drink and food with a friend/colleague after work. She knew that it was upsetting for me and that I needed to be distracted. She called in sick today because she wasn’t feeling well. Can happen. She’s a lot younger than me and she’s been going through a rough time. She’s come to see me on the strangest hours, called me, texted me, for advice and just to listen to her. And I did that. Of course I did. That’s what friends do right?

She sent me a text, she cancelled our plans (again, I understand, if you’re not feeling well, there’s not much you can do). Later she sent me a text how I was doing. Well….

Right before that, one of the guys at work was sitting next to me and he was joking. I said I wasn’t in the mood. He then saw that it was serious. I know him pretty well and he knows my history. I felt the tears come up and he took me to the kitchen for a chat and a drink of water. That was nice. He really came through for me today and he was not the one I expected that from. Hence the sometimes people suprise you in a positive way.

Sooo I texted my friend back that I’d just had a minor breakdown. Got a “oh no” text, that was it. She then texted, as I was on my way home that she’s going to call me this evening. It is now 11.30 PM. No text, no call, no nothing.

The guy however, texted me to ask if I’m ok and we had a nice chat.

Another guy, who I expected more from, also let me down. He knew that I was upset, he knew that I was dreading going home this evening and he didn’t bother. At all. God knows how many times I’ve helped him out.

So the score? Positive: 1. Negative: 2.

I will never learn. I always expect people to treat me the way I treat them. The world just doesn’t work that way, does it? Will I ever change? Nope, this is who I am. I can’t change that. I don’t want to change that. But I can’t change other people. So I’ll just have to face it, I will be disappointed in people many times more. Hopefully people will keep surprising me in the positive sense just as much, or even more.

The miracle of Chile

16 Oct

And yet another weekend is here. It’s just insane how quick the weeks go by.

The one thing that stood out for me this week was the rescue of the Chilean miners. Wow, what an operation that was. Imagine being trapped underground with 32 other people, not knowing if you’ll make it out alive. I can’t imagine it, I don’t think anyone can. To see how they kept their spirits up and how they stayed positive and energetic, I think we can all learn from that.

To see that capsule disappear into the earth, knowing that that thing is going to bring all those man back into the real world, was amazing. The thought of having to go inside that thing and then make that journey up, can drive any claustrophobic over the edge. But then again, I doubt many miners suffer from claustrophobia right? I sure hope not!

And out they came, sunglasses on, shaky but happy. Finally seeing their loved ones again. Even after seeing many of them come back, it still brought tears to my eyes. Such pure love and pure emotion. Amazing.

Their lives will never be the same again. They’re heroes now. Celebrities. Books will be written about them. Hollywood will knock on their doors, anxious to tell their story. I sure hope they get a lot of guidance for themselves as for their families. They’ll need it!